The Annual Football Predictions Blog 2021/22

The Annual Premier League Predictions Blog 2021/22

Last season, between Roger and me, we managed to pretty much forecast an accurate picture of how we felt last season would end. There were obviously the glaring mistakes, but in general we did okay, especially considering we guessed our own teams’ finishing positions spot on, which is both excellent and a little bit sad.

In the twelve months since that blog; Spurs have lost their arsehole and Everton’s manager proved to be an arsehole and now both teams start a new season with new managers and little optimism. Liverpool have lost their World Heritage standing, mainly because of the proposed Everton stadium at the docks and Spurs lost £200million in unrecoverable income and fell, like a stone, out of the top four and back into mid-table mediocrity. If the Toffees learn anything from this season, it’s likely to be two-fold: 1) don’t waste your money and years of the club’s time building a new stadium and 2) don’t employ your biggest rival’s ex-manager, possibly a few years after his peak. The similarities with Spurs are never-ending…

So… how do we see the forthcoming season unfolding? Personally, and I expect Roger feels the same way, the enthusiasm, optimism and hope we’ve both had at times over the last decade has almost completely disappeared and the prospect of another long and potentially boring season is very real. Here’s what I think:

1^st: Man City – especially if they sign Kane and Grealish. I don’t really have a problem with Citeh the way I do United or Chelsea, Arsenal or Liverpool, but they’re proving that there’s no longer such a thing as a level playing field and I expect they will run away with the title this season, even without world class additions.

2^nd: Chelsea – I don’t care where they finish as long as they don’t win any more trophies. The Poor Man’s Man City is a dislikeable bunch of worthless cunts and I’d like to see them lose every match they play in. They have overtaken Arsenal in my personal hatred charts.

3^rd: Man Utd – the Manchester dominance won’t continue, just. Good signings, Ole getting the hang of managing a proper side and the ability to grind out enough results to keep them in touch with the real challengers. They’re never going to be what they were, at least not in my lifetime. Still good enough to stay in the top 4 for the foreseeable future.

4^th: Liverpool – and so the top four is a repeat of last year. Liverpool peaked eighteen months ago and have been overtaken by at least three teams; plus not a huge amount has happened on the transfer front – running to stand still. Might win a cup.

5^th: Leicester – knocking on the door again and will be unlucky not to break into the top 4; will suffer from their usual slumps at the most inconvenient times.

6^th: There will be quite a gap between 5^th and 6^th and for the first time in years I’m hard pressed to see a finishing order for the lower European places. West Ham are in the Europa; Spurs are in the Conference, Aston Villa have reinforced extremely well, but lost Grealish and Everton are again in transition and likely to play extremely dull football to grind out results; so who is going to finish 6^th? Let’s have a punt on Leeds United. No Europe, good recruitment, top manager. I see a big improvement coming.

7^th: Spurs – it pains me to forecast them so far down the table, but this is as optimistic as I can get. I like Nuno Espirito Santo; I think he’s a nice guy. I don’t expect he’ll see two years out, especially if Pochettino continues to be linked with a return (although that depends on how far Spurs fall). I also suspect Spurs will get through to the Europa Conference final – whether they win it or not is another matter. It is a horrible time to be a fan of this team. They have plummeted from contenders to has-beens in the space of two seasons and that has been largely down to ENIC’s failure to invest in players when they were needed and then being kicked in the teeth by COVID when they were ready to make themselves lots of cash from the new stadium, American football, rock concerts and boxing matches – football was always going to be low down that list, now… Levy needs to spend some of those billions squirrelled away or simply sell up and get a progressive owner in. Sad times but some encouraging signings and the promise of getting rid of more deadwood and bringing a few youngsters through. As long as we’re entertaining and challenging in a couple of cups, I don’t mind a season of low expectations.

8^th: Everton – I expect the same from the perennial underachievers of the 21^st Century. Benitez’s appointment is likely to be as successful as Mourinho at Spurs or anyone at Celtic at the moment, which is damning but also probably accurate. Their season was probably summed up the other morning when Rafa said that James Rodriguez was surplus to requirements and should look for another club. This is their only world class footballer and for a club mired in a child sex abuse scandal with one of their other senior players, I expect things will only get worse before they ever get better…

9^th: Arsenal – they are in more of a decline than Spurs. The manager will be sacked by Christmas and it will be an uphill struggle from then on.

10^th: West Ham – the Europa League will do them. A return to mediocrity.

11^th: Aston Villa – even without Grealish they’re still almost capable of top half; it’s whether their signings are as good as they’re believed to be. It’s a tough league for the top 10 and they might just miss out.

12^th: Crystal Palace – this will be seen as an improvement and a step in the right direction for new boss Patrick Vierra.

13^th: Wolves – new manager, poor recruitment; one wonders what the owners are thinking. Probably enough to stay out of trouble.

14^th: Southampton – the end of Hassenhutl and a season of struggle.

15^th: Brentford – a valiant effort, will shock many teams at home; will do more than enough to survive.

16^th: Brighton – Graham Potter is touted as a great upcoming manager; Brighton will play nice football and still struggle all season.

17^th: Newcastle – skin of their arses time. Bruce will somehow manage to keep his job all season.

18^th: Burnley – Dyche’s swansong? It’s time this team’s luck ran out.

19^th: Norwich – as doomed as they were last time; likely to have lost their best players by the time the season really gets going.

20^th: Watford – doomed. End of.

 

FA Cup: Rotherham

League Cup: Wycombe

Champions League: Lokomotiv Plovdiv

Europa League: Wales

Europa Conference: The Moldovan Figure Skating Movement.

 

And now for Roger’s effort. I call it an effort although he didn’t put much into it. However, where I have eschewed humour for a more serious approach this season, he’s filled in the void left…

***

I can't remember being less enthusiatic about a new football season than for the forthcoming round of predictable fare, for, well forever. My lot have finally had FFP caught up with them, and after 5 years and now 6 managers, the ability to spend has been severely curtailed by the regulations. In a close season when the usual suspects continue to spaff cash at players without a care in the world, Everton, once a big club in the increasingly dim distant past, are now going to be slugging it out for a top half finish with the also-rans.

 

The way FFP "works", it seems to me to be a fairly pointless exercise as the gap between the Big Six and the rest gets ever wider, making bridging that gap more and more difficult for once big players like Everton. I am coming to the conclusion that the Euro Super League thing should be allowed to go ahead. At least it would give our league some genuine excitement. Still, it could be worse, I could support the Cobblers.

1st - Man Utd - Look, it would be too easy to say Citeh, again. Utd have spaffed well, and I fancy them to give it a right go.

2nd - Man City - They have probably spaffed in fine fashion too, but I can't be bothered to check. Even real Citeh fans must be getting bored by now, surely?

3rd - Chelsea - That Tuchel fella looks like he knows what he's doing. I fancy Roman to blow his face off with a sawn-off shotgun as the culmination of a bloodbath in Knightsbridge.

4th - Leicester - This time, they'll get their noses in front of the Shite. He hopes....

5th - Liverpool - Fuckity fuckity fuck...

6th - Arsenal - With an average squad age of 13, the Gooners could find those late night matches hard to cope with. Expect them to be top at some point, and then lose 5 on the trot. As per normal, then.

7th/8th/9th/10th - Perm any combination of Spurs, Villa, Leeds, Everton. I'm afraid West Ham will slide back into the anonymous middle bit, now they've got away fixtures in Ulan Bator on Thursday nights to contend with.

This middle bit makes me want to go for a shit. I really don't care.

Will Brentford stay up? No. Neither will Watford or Narch.

The Cup - Aston Villa

League Cup - Aston Villa

Right... now to go and do something useful, like string my ukulele.

***

And that's all they wrote. Who will be closer to the truth? Last season it was just about a tie.

 

England are Spurs (but worse)

I recently read a rant by a QPR fan that left no doubt about his (and other QPR fans) feelings towards Harry Redknapp. While discussing this rant with my friend, an Everton supporter, I came up with a theory about Redknapp that I'm now going to extrapolate on as a way of possibly explaining why the England football team's failure is probably John Terry's fault as well.

I have often cited John Terry as being the reason why Spurs completely-unexpected title challenge in 2012 withered on the vine and died spectacularly - within weeks of punters daring to suggest that Harry's team could possibly do it. Terry's racism caused Fabio Capello to leave the England job and while I don't think he was anywhere near the best man for the job, his leaving caused the widespread expectation that Harry Redknapp would replace him and do to England what he appeared to be doing at Tottenham.

Harry, as some fans and commentators claimed, was good until 'Daniel Levy fucked him over in January 2012' and Harry has always claimed - mainly off camera - that he asked for two players to help give Spurs a chance of winning the title (they were 2nd in January 2012 and even Paul Merson was talking about them being stalking horses) and he asked for Carlos Tevez and a top class defender. He got Ryan Nelson and Louis Saha, combined age about 170. Spurs ended up finishing 5th and I think, from memory, they took about 7 points between February and May - it was heartbreaking to watch and many Spurs fans conveniently forget that not so illustrious last few months of Harry's reign.

There were many other factors at work than listed above. There was family tragedy, a fraud case, some or unfortunate bad timing with contract talks and, of course, when Capello quit and the press installed him as the 'only' replacement, it obviously went to his head. The fact that the FA, in its infinite stupidity, chose Roy Hodgson probably put paid to Harry's career and ruined the national side's chances of being something other than one of the regular teams who make numbers up at competitions.

Roy's period in charge was a strange blend of unbeatable and unwinnable. In qualifications England were dull but imperious. At the World Cup and then the Euros - even without extra pressure from the media - they were woeful and reinforced the view that whenever England does something positive, it will follow it up with something worse than ludicrous. When an England manager decides that Harry Kane should be taking corners you know that he isn't the man who should be doing the job...

What if Harry Redknapp had got the job he wanted? My belief is when he failed to get the England job it kind of killed his desire. Spurs faded badly and he's done nothing of note since. In fact, his stock fell so badly at Birmingham that it's probably a good thing he's 70 and in need of retirement. When he was being touted as Fabio's replacement, Spurs were playing some stunning football - yes, they had Bale, Modric, Van der Vaart, an almost Ledley King and players who gelled well with the stars, but Harry had brought Spurs on from an upper mid-table team to genuine top 4 challengers and while his tactical management left a lot to be desired, his man-management brought the best out of mediocre players - the perfect man for an England job, surely?

Had Daniel Levy not been a plonker - he was pretty much solely responsible for Spurs failure to do anything but become a joke in 2012 - he could have got £250,000 from the FA, got shot of a man he didn't really like and got the same end result, but maybe a year earlier. But he didn't and Roy got the job and I don't think there was one England fan in the country who looked at his appointment and got a hard on for our future prospects.

I'm not going to attempt to presume the hypothetical, but I can't help thinking that playing for England would suddenly have become important again - like it might have if Brian Clough had ever seriously been considered in the 1970s, the last time England were really awful. Reading some autobiographies and historical reports, you got the impression that under Ron Greenwood and Bobby Robson, England felt like a team not a collection of individuals. Graham Taylor set us back when we should have gone forward, Venables took us forward and should never have been sacked. Hoddle might have become something special had the press not picked up on his 'eccentricities' and from that point on, we simply flattered to deceive. Apart from the 5-1 win in Germany (which was the catalyst they needed to reform their game), I can't see anything fond to look back on from Keegan onward.

I think you don't necessarily have to be a world class team to win a competition - Greece and Denmark have proved that - but you do need a coach who can look at what he's got and make them work together for the good of the team. I don't think we've had a coach since Venables who has done that. Obviously, Harry's reign would have had to have been done without wheeler-dealing; he couldn't just go and buy a journeyman Romanian to slot into left back in a crisis; but he might have taken a young English left back and slotted him into an existing set up smoothly; put an arm round his shoulders and told him that he wasn't going to be a jinx and he wouldn't have picked him if he didn't have faith... Who knows; Harry might have been worse than Roy? I doubt it, though. My mum wouldn't have been as bad as Roy and she's been dead 20 years! Sandra Redknapp would have been better than Roy and would have scored a few poacher's goals for us after picking herself over Darren Bent.

And now it's late 2017. We're less than nine months from the next World Cup finals, which we have qualified for, in stunningly dull fashion. The most positive thing you can say about the management is Southgate is honest enough to tell everyone we're shit before it's been proved, again. The thing is I don't actually think we are that bad, we just never pick the right man to manage us and while the incumbent is trying hard, he isn't that good.

Look at the class of 2017. I'm going to throw a few names at you, see if you can guess the link: Danny Rose (when fit), Harry Kane, Eric Dier, Kieran Trippier, Dele Alli, Kyle Walker, Harry Winks? With the exception of Walker, who is now at Man City, this is Spurs. This is an England squad with more Spurs players than I can ever remember. One newspaper columnist even suggested Southgate was trying to get England to play like Spurs, and wouldn't that be something worth staying in and watching games for?

Southgate's problem is his players who aren't playing for Spurs. If Mauricio Pochettino put Jordan Henderson into his team, Sissoko would look world class. If Oxtail-Chambermaid played ahead of Alli or Eriksen, Spurs would be rubbish. Poch plays the 4-2-3-1 formation that Southgate has used in his last half a dozen qualification games (discounting the final game) and frankly playing two defensive midfielders against Malta is only going to work if those players are capable of turning up and scoring the odd goal - like Dier, Wanyama and Dembele do at Spurs. Dier in an England shirt is a bit of an enigma; he comes and goes like a troublesome bout of the trots and I think this is down to whether or not England actually need two covering midfielders against opposition Germany can beat 8-0, but we struggle to get 1-0s against.

In fact, in many ways, England's biggest puzzle at the moment is Jordan Henderson. I simply cannot understand what he is doing in an England shirt. I've watched football for a long time, I like to think that, in general, my opinions gain more agreeable responses than angry ones and I can't understand why he's there in the same way I can't understand why Sissoko is so high up in the Spurs pecking order. I hear we have a dearth of decent midfielders and this might be true; England often have no left back for a generation and five vying for the same position in the next. Look at Paul Scholes, someone who should have got 150 caps, but you know... If midfielders were really the problem I could understand it, but I think this is just scapegoating before the event.

I've seen Dele Alli play in a far more defensive midfield role for Spurs. Early last season especially and whenever he got booked. Poch would bring him deeper, give him more responsibility and not only did we stay as solid, he created a lot from a deeper position and showed much more discipline. If continuous England bosses want to play all their favourites, even if that means there are five number 10s on the pitch, then you can play an attacking midfielder in a less attacking role, surely. Eriksen can do it, Dembele can and it looks like Harry Winks can also do it. I think Alli can do it, probably better than most.

If England could play the Spurs way, it would need a solid centre and two ball-playing central defenders - as far as I can see they can just about do this, but in many ways England doesn't have Vertonghen or Alderweireld because they're Belgian, both of them... But, there are some excellent central defenders playing in 2017, getting the right partnership is key but probably doable with this group of players.

The wing backs have to be Walker and Rose, if both fit and playing the way we know they can. Here is the most dynamic wing back pairing in world football from the same country and there's this myth growing about how good they are together, which gives England an unexpected psychological advantage (for a change).

England do not have Christian Eriksen, Mousa Dembele or Victor Wanyama - at the moment they have Jordan bloody Henderson... - but they do have Eric Dier, Harry Winks, Dele Alli, who all play together at club level. I think that's the midfield problem sorted. Up front, there is a burgeoning partnership in Kane and Rashford; they can both play off each other, drop into the number 10 position and could score goals for fun (if they had a progressive midfield behind them).

I don't care who's on the subs bench as long as they can slot into that system and they can play a high press, high tempo game easily. I would also take Jordan Henderson to one side and let him down, reasonably gently.

The 2016/17 Football Forecast

Every year my good, dear friend Roger and I become pundits and forecast the forthcoming football season and we put it up on our joint sports blog called Sports Discuss - which, in Internet terms, was as popular as someone's soiled underpants. Abandoning that idea, we're going to publish this jointly through our own blogs, for exposure more than anything else.

We were once known as The Wippo Brothers & Clive.

***

As is now well know, my predictions come from Missed It Meg, the most unreliable wizard in the universe, and a seer whose stygmatism inflicted second sight peers myopically through bottle-bottom thick glasses. Meg's predictions are to reliability what the Labour Party is to credible opposition politics, or, if I have to spell it out, a fucking shambles...so, here goes:

AFC Bournemouth

Will veer between 11th and 17th and could finish anywhere in that range. Already there have been seven unspectacular additions to the squad, replacing six leavers and this will mean they will remain the Premier League's yo-yo team, up and down like the Assyrian Empire. I predict they will beat Spurs at home.

Arsenal

As a Toffee it is always galling listening to the interminable moaning of Gooners, but I can grudgingly understand their grouching given the unspent zillions under Arsene's mattress. About time the craggy old Frenchy retired methinks, or is it Wenger's plan to peg it in the dug out?. They'll do enough to scrape 4th as ever, having at some point been top and looking unbeatable. Plus ca change...

Burnley

I know as much about Burnley than I do about lathe maintenance. Bottom, I reckon...which probably means Europa League qualification beckons. Will draw with Spurs at WHL.

Chelsea

Blimey, that Kunte Kante fella makes Jose look reserved, does he not? Have already spent over £60m of loose change on two new players, expect more to come, who with the gesticulating bloke should probably take a while to bed in. 2nd or 3rd.

Crystal Palace

A sort of classier version of Stoke, occasionally a bit mad, just like their manager. Will hover round the Useless League places.

Everton

I was going to hold off writing this prediction thing until we had actually bought someone, but given our track record that would mean the season would be a week old already. Even with Moshiri's wallet on board it seems we have been a bit slow off the mark, the only purchase so far being Leicester's director of football. An offer has been made for Witsel who is mulling over a £100K a week contract. ho-hum.

Koeman was the guy I wanted, but then so was Martinez, so who knows what will happen.
The obvious key to any improvement is keeping hold of Lukaku, and to a lesser extent, Barkley and Stones. Never a dull moment at The Old Lady since Moyes left, for sure. We can't do any worse than last season, so I'll go for 6th and a cup!

Hull

With no Barcodes to keep us entertained this season, 'Ull are making an early bid for the title of the Premier League Comedy Club. What an omnishables! Down, down deeper and down...

Leicester

My prediction for the Foxes last season, like most, was waaay off, but at least I didn't predict them to go down. Surely there's no way they can repeat last season's miracle? I reckon upper mid-table. Right, I'm off to put a tenner on them being Champions again...

Liverpool

Klippety is the first likeable manager the Shite have had since Houlier, and he's now forging them into his own team, with 13 (!) departures and 6 additions so far. With no Euro distractions, I'm rather scared they'll do a bit too well for my liking. Only thing stopping them is the new team bedding in. Top four likely. :(

Man City

The team who on paper should win it every year. The key word is "team", which they seldom resemble. Is "The World's Best Manager" the man who can get them playing like they recognise each other? Hands off Lukaku or Stones, ye over-monied entitled fuckers...

Man Utd

There was an early and strong rumour that The Special One would actually take up a proper challenge (my lot), but unsurprisingly he plumped for the bottomless loaned wealth of the red half of Manchester. Like their neighbours they have been very quiet in the transfer market so far, so...hands off Lukaku or Stones, ye over-monied entitled fuckers...

Middlesbrough

A similar amount of transfer activity to Bournemouth, but unlike The Cherries they do not have a year's experience behind them. Will hover around the drop zone all year, but may survive.

Southampton

They can't keep rebuilding and thriving each season, surely? Summat has to give. Another hard one to call. Mid table anonymity along with...

Stoke

...and

Sunderland

You can tell I've had enough of this, can't you?

Swansea

Just been bought by a Yank, apparently. Good track record, Yanks owning football clubs, eh? Will scrap it out with the other three teams beginning with S for 12th.

Tottenham Hotspur

A great name that sounds like it came out of a boys comic, and a team who veer between brilliant and scared of their own shadows. The loss to Bournemouth and the home draw against Burnley will be what ultimately costs them the title. At least they'll finish above Arsenal at last.

Watford

Goodbye, Vicarage Road... ;)

West Ham

A almost spanking new and virtually free new ground (the bastards), a good manager and a good squad. What could possibly go wrong? Everything, probably, knowing The Hammers.

West Brom

I thought I'd finished this thing then realised I hadn't mentioned The Baggies...in the mix with the "Esses".

The Table:

1. Citeh

2. Spurs

3. Liverpool

4. Arsenal

5. Man Utd

6. Chelsea

7. Everton

8. Leicester

9. Crystal Palace

10. West Ham

11. Southampton

12. Sunderland

13. Stoke

14. West Brom

15. Swansea

16. Bournemouth

17. Middlesbrough

18. Burnley

19. Watford

20. Hull

League Cup: Everton

FA Cup: Everton

Champions League: Not Everton

Useless League: Paraguay

****

And I, for once, am rather more measured (with a surreal caveat)...

I can't remember an impending football season with so much uncertainty about it, yet if you read the columns and listen to the early shots from the pundits you'd think it was already shaping up to be the same old same old. I don't think it will be as predictable as the experts think. For a start two new teams in the Champions League; Man Utd in the Europa Cup and a host of new managers, new players and new grounds.

Oh and for the first time since I've been doing this (must be 10 years now), you'll have to wait until the end to find out my positional predictions.

AFC Bournemouth: The problem for Eddie Howe's men is the other big problem that hounds the unexpected survivor of an almost certain relegation - Second Season Syndrome. The Cherries appear to have spent interestingly without really raising any eyebrows. The key to a second consecutive survival battle is not just who is worse but also how they improve on some excellent results last season. It's going to be tough. Animal Most Like - Possum

Arsenal: One thing you'd be silly to do is write off Arsenal as a serious top 4 contender, but if you hear some of the pre-season banter from Arsenal fans on the radio you'd think their season was over already. It would appear the lack of investment and new players has again mightily pissed off the fans, who argue, quite rightly at times, that if their team could only scrape into 2nd in a supposedly woefully inferior last season, surely some investment is needed to ensure they don't go backwards. I think they might start to go backwards, especially if injuries hit them hard early on. Animal Most Like - Wildebeest

Burnley: I really can't see this being a season with any real high points. They are not going to do a Leicester and might find themselves way off the pace from almost the word go. Will win friends and play some good football, but it just won't ever be enough. Animal Most Like - rabbit

Chelsea: With no European participation, a slew of new recruits (and more on the way) and a little more than just their pride at stake, I expect a faltering season from the former champions, but only because it will take Conte - the new man - a few months to get it right. The success of teams around them in Europe could dictate the final standings at the end of the season. Animal Most Like - Pike

Crystal Palace: Have been nothing but ambitious in transfers and targets and will fancy their chances if they hit a rich vein of form - which they are capable of, especially at home. Will be tough to beat this year and Pardew will have learnt from the second half of last season. Animal Most Like - Bald eagle

Everton: One of the real puzzles in this year's league battle. Ronald Koeman didn't so much transform Southampton as do what you'd expect a manager to do when he follows someone who has shown the team's vast improvement, he took it to the next level and Southampton sans some of arguably their best players were better without them. Koeman  also hasn't got big shoes to fill as Roberto Martinez's reign spluttered to a resounding end and a team with so much potential, in a season when they should have done so much better, was a flop. They don't appear to have signed anyone yet and despite having lots of money, this is a worry, especially if you're a Toffee's fan. Animal Most Like - Panda

Hull: A club in turmoil. Only 13 fit players in the squad. The manager has just quit and the club is essentially for sale. I'd have a fiver on them to win the league. I expect them to go down and badly but I said that about Leicester last season. Animal Most Like - Your crap dog

Leicester: And here they are, the Champions. Will they be champions in May. No. I'm positive of this. They will however begin the season like they finished last season and will remain tough to beat and difficult to play against unless you know how to close them down. A decent replacement for Kante is needed, but who was Kante last August? This is going to be as tough as old boots for them. Animal Most Like - Lupus Lupus

Liverpool: No Europe and we all remember what happened last time that happened? This time they have Jurgen Klopp, a lot of his style of players and definite signs at times towards the end of last season that a new ethos was taking shape at Anfield. This team, for the first time in years, worries me. Animal Most Like - Giraffe

Man City: The Premier League really is the Champions League of managers this season and few come bigger than Pep Guardiola. Had the other Special One not moved into Old Trafford you might have pretty much given the title to Citeh given the foregone conclusion-ness attached to them. For Guardiola, read Antonio Conte above, this won't be an easy ride, it will get better and all the signs will start to show that the future is scary, but maybe not this year. Animal Most Like - Gorilla

Man Utd: Determining factors - is Mourinho washed up? Will the Europa League hinder? Will they even bother with it? Will the weight of expectation become too high again? There's no denying the quality that's been brought in and that of those still being negotiated for. I just have a gut feeling that this could go horribly wrong and it's a real cheat to say it probably won't but I want to put it out there. Animal Most Like - Hyena

Middlesbrough: A dark horse for certain survival? There's something about them that suggests a resilience and staying in the Premier League isn't as difficult as it once seemed for newly promoted clubs. Have spent wisely and on some good players. Animal Most Like - Geordies

Southampton: my underdogs for the relegation zone. The new manager might yet be another brilliant pick and the academy still continues to churn out future stars; but it must be hard playing for a club with both a Europa League campaign and with the knowledge you play for a selling club. Unlikely to repeat last season and could struggle if things get tough. Animal Most Like - Seal

Stoke: I'm fed up with writing about Stoke and most years I write bugger all about them. Will frustrate and flatter to deceive. Mid-table as per. Animal Most Like - Shrew

Sunderland: David Moyes can turn Jermaine Defoe into a defensive midfielder. Surely a season of mediocrity but no real flirtation with relegation? Either this team will improve or no one will change their fortunes for a while. I think they'll bother neither end of the table. Animal Most Like - a very defensive minded sloth

Swansea: possibly the bottom has dropped out of Swansea a little and if Siggurdsson is prised away from them before the window slams shut then I fear for their future. Animal Most Like - lungfish

Watford: Who knows? What's the new manager like? How will the 30 new recruits slot into the team? Bizarre club. Animal Most Like - Cuckoo

West Ham: We all know Bilic is a top quality manager. How the Hammers settle into their new home is a huge uncertainty. Fortress or target? West Ham were the first team to win at the Emirates, I believe, expect Arsenal to return the favour. Europa League could hinder league progress a little, depending on how serious they treat it this year. Animal Most Like -  Peacock

West Brom: God, I so hope they go down. Animal Most Like - skunk

Tottenham: Optimism has never been in plentiful supply with me and my team and after a brilliant season, the team imploded to remind us all just how good they are at fucking up when Arsenal are sniffing at their arses. I expect nothing less than finishing above the Gooners and maybe we have the makings of doing more than that. The one key factor in Spurs failure to finish higher than 3rd was their failure to convert matches against obdurate opponents intent on a draw or nicking the win. The football they played, by and large, against the so-called big boys was irresistible at times and there's no reason why that shouldn't continue even with Champions League commitments. Sensible purchases, early on, and more brilliant raw talent being promoted from the youth coupled with something Spurs haven't had for a long time, continuity, means that I'm actually more than optimistic for them in a season with so many unknown factors at work. Animal Most Like - Vorlon

The Table:

1.  Tottenham

2.  Liverpool

3.  Man City

4.  Chelsea

5.  Man Utd

6.  Everton

7.  Arsenal

8.  West Ham

9.  Leicester

10. Stoke

11. Crystal Palace

12. Southampton

13. Watford

14. Middlesbrough

15. Sunderland

16. Bournemouth

17. WBA

18. Swansea

19. Burnley

20. Hull City

League Cup: Man City

FA Cup: Chelsea

Champions League: Bayern Munich

Europa League: Kazakhstan Korinthians

The End of Season Bash (part 1)

Champagne's on Ice, but what about St Totteringham's Day?

Congratulations Leicester City on winning the most unlikeliest prize of all. The claiming of the Premier League title has been a revelation that is both sweet and poison to football fans all over the country.

But... hang on, they haven't won it yet?

No, but they need a minimum of four wins from their remaining six games and while they face in-form West Ham, Man United (desperate for a top four finish) and dethroned champions Chelsea, they also have three very winnable ties against Everton, Swansea and Sunderland and that should be enough, given Spurs' tough run-in.

Arsenal, on paper, look better equipped to make a late challenge, despite having to win 3 more games than Leicester. Five of their final six fixtures are all pretty much guaranteed three pointers - Palace, West Brom, Sunderland and Norwich before a last day 'test' against Villa. However, they also face West Ham at the Boleyn Ground and Man City in sunny Mancsville - two games that will possible define their stop/start season. 15 points would give Arsenal 73 points, meaning Leicester would only need 5 points to guarantee the title.

Spurs have Chelsea away - never a happy hunting ground and against a team playing for pride. They have Man Utd at home, also another team the North London club struggle to beat, wherever they play and whatever form they happen to be in. Stoke away also poses a threat - Spurs can win there, but going to the Potteries is never, ever, a forecast-able result. That leaves West Brom and Southampton at home and a potential crazy last day when they go to St James Park in Newcastle to play a side that may or may not have already been relegated, but might also need a win to save their status. If Spurs can draw against Chelsea, and beat their opponents in the other five, that would give them 16 points and a total of 78 points, meaning Leicester would need to win four matches as Spurs have, by far, the best goal difference in the league. That, on paper could put pressure on Leicester, but the reality is, it is Spurs they are up against.

So, while the league title is still not mathematically impossible, most Spurs fans would have bitten your hand off at the start of the season just to finish above Arsenal, even if that was us in 16th and them in 17th. The gap between the two pernicious rivals is four points, but Arsenal have a game in hand, so that could be one point and a far worse goal difference to overcome - not impossible by any stretch of the imagination. The reality is the fight for runner-up is far more likely to stir up passions among two sets of rivals than the unexpected Leicester title.

Don't get me wrong. If Spurs were to defy the odds and win the title I would not have the slightest problem in partying like it was 1999 all over again, but I also accept that it is as unlikely as Leicester winning the title... oh... But, it has been a great season to watch and live and I never really expected something like this in my lifetime; there was always the hope but never the reality - Spurs usually fall short much earlier than this and it's the hope that gets you in the end.

I decided after the lasagne-gate incident - 10 years ago now - that I would be happy with a) supremacy over the Arse or b) just one year where we finish above the bastards; and, frankly, we've flattered to deceive and always managed to screw it up. This season, as a die-hard Spurs fan, is likely to have the same result, even if we finish 3rd and are guaranteed Champions League group football next year. 3rd would be a disaster if Arsenal were above us.

In the world of harsh realities, Spurs could end up taking just six points from their last six matches and if you were a betting man this is your best bet; except for 28 of the last 32 matches, Spurs have played like one of the two best teams in the country - many managers claim they are the best side their clubs' have faced and unusually Spurs are now tough to beat; they don't concede that many goals (less than anyone else in the top flight) and this is a team that has showed, time and time again, it doesn't know when it is beaten. Most un-Spurs-like.

Against Liverpool, in a game they needed to win and went a goal behind, I never once gave up; I could see us scoring - we did - and I could see us getting a winner - we didn't, but we didn't lose and not losing is a mentality that has benefited both Spurs and Leicester.

So I err on the pessimistic only because recent history demands it. History however has never had a Spurs side quite like this one, at least not for 55 years, and this team is ridiculously young and fit and has gained more points from losing positions than any team in the league; so there is room for some cautious optimism and, of course, this weird season could still throw up some curve balls. Sunderland are fighting for their lives - relegation this season will cost teams so much money it isn't funny - and we all know - because of Leicester's heroics last season - relegation-threatened teams somehow turn it around, sometimes. Sunderland face both Arsenal and Leicester at home and it is arguably their two most important games, because points taken from these are not expected, despite home advantage. Plus they have Big Sam and he likes a challenge, having never been relegated in his career.

St Totteringham's Day - the near-mythical day when Spurs can no longer overhaul their North London neighbours has only gone down to the last day of the season twice in recent years and both times the Arse have triumphed, despite Spurs being in pole position. It would be fair to say that I will be looking down the table over the next few weeks, not above.

If I had any finger nails, I wouldn't.

A Week is a Long Time etc...

Let's be realistic about this - the 2015/16 season has been a revelation - it has shown us all something unique in modern football and the fact that my Spurs are 2nd, still, can be looked back on as a definite improvement, even if they end up in 4th or even 5th place. Yes, it will be devastating after a season of more ups than downs, but the future does appear to have Spurs firmly in its sights and thoughts.

Looking more like the only winners are Leicester City, who are looking so nailed on to win the unthinkable, they could have it wrapped up by the beginning of May, with a delicious irony being they go to Chelsea on the last day and would receive the customary guard of honour from the former champions.

As it stands, Leicester needs 13 points from 24 to guarantee Champions League football; every time the teams outside of the top 4 drop points that target gets smaller; they have to be long odds on to be playing at the big boys table next season and frankly a massive crash is the only thing that make that happen. Spurs need 18 from 24 just to guarantee Champions League football, but are now considered by the bookies to be Leicester's only viable rival. They sit five points behind with eight games to go; the simple fact is in those eight games, Spurs have to win TWO more than Leicester and those eight games might as well be eight grains of sand in an hourglass. The only way Leicester won't be writing their way into the history books is if they implode and start playing like Aston Villa.

You can imagine them already making their excuses for this year's success stories to fail next season: Leicester will, at best, return to mid-table mediocrity next season, especially with Champions League (should they get past the group stage). Spurs won't invest enough in players to sustain a challenge and an European adventure and West Ham are moving to a new stadium and this season's improvement is more down to the failings of the others. I'll bet they're already lining up a top 5 for next season featuring Man City, Chelsea, Arsenal, Man U and Liverpool - and most punters will place Spurs, Leicester, West Ham, possibly Everton (now they're richer than the Reds), Stoke and Southampton as the chasing pack. Logic dictates that's how it should be and as games run out, all that logic from all those pundits, is going to sound like Alan Hansen's 'You can't win anything with kids'.

Next season, if this one is anything to go by, could have 10 or 11 teams in the mix - everyone can still beat everyone else and just because Pep Guardiola, Jose Mourinho, Jurgen Klopp, Antonio Conte and possibly one or two other Galactico managers will be tyhrowing their weight against each other, what if Leicester (Claudio Ranieri), West Ham (Slaven Bilic), Tottenham (Mauricio Pochettino), Everton (Roberto Martinez or A.N. Other) can shake things up again next year? What's to stop a Watford (Sanchez Florez), or a Swansea (Guidolin), a promoted side or even Newcastle (The fat Spanish Waiter - if they survive) from throwing the 'form books' out of the window?

This might not be an exaggeration when I say the team that finishes 7th and won't play in European competition (by virtue of league finish) the following season will still pocket hundreds of millions of quids for TV and prize money - Bournemouth, by surviving, can afford to pay the same wages as Liverpool next season, if they choose to, and that means they attract players who would usually look at Bournemouth and shudder or laugh - because some footballers go where the money is.

The playing field in the Premier League has been levelled more than a little - just look at some of the players Stoke have. Top players will still want to go to the top clubs, but if the top clubs don't want them...

These could be exciting times because while anyone's team might end up struggling in this new order, they have a good chance of not. This year it will be Leicester and I congratulate them now on winning the league; too much has to transpire to prevent them and I would be delighted if my team finish 2nd. I won't say I won't be disappointed, but if you'd offered me this in August, after losing a game we should have at least drawn because of a fluke own goal, I would have bitten your arm off.

Every Game is a Cup Final

At around 4pm on Sunday 28th February, I thought I might have a heart attack. I felt giddy and light-headed and strangely exhausted. A bit of research concluded I had a touch of altitude sickness.

Let me put this into some context. My beloved Spurs had been as high as 3rd in 2012 and were quietly being talked about as outside challengers for the title; regardless of what followed, Spurs did something I've grown very familiar with, they dashed my expectations with insipid performances, dropped points and a failure to keep a huge lead of their North London rivals. They eventually limped into 4th place - a fantastic achievement until Chelsea - who finished 6th - won the Champions League and deprived us the place at Europe's top table we just about deserved.

When this title talk began, in January 2012, my eyebrows took on an almost permanent Spock, gradually wilting as Spurs became Spursy. It really was downhill all the way after that. Well, not exactly 'downhill' because finishing 5th, 6th and 5th hardly shows a massive decline. I expect fans of at least 86 other football league clubs would be heartbroken for us to have finished so poorly while playing mind-numbingly dull football.

The one thing any anally-retentive fan will point to were the number of lost points to teams that true challengers would beat. The 'if only' games that every year Spurs fans point to against relegation-threatened teams where we got done over. Every so often I'd find myself more worried about playing Villa than Arsenal and that was all down to expectations and hope: I expected us to win, I hoped we wouldn't screw up. I was disappointed more often than I care to remember.

Whenever Spurs have done well, the next hurdle always seemed like a step too far. Ever since Lasagne-gate some say, but I remember back in the early 1980s when a win would have put us top in a three-way battle with the two Liverpool clubs; instead we turned a lead into a defeat and ended up a long distance behind in 3rd. Smaller hurdles - win this match go 4th, win this game go 3rd and always the pressure seemed to be too much and Spursy turned up.

At the end of September, Spurs were 100-1 to win the league; they'd had an indifferent start but had only lost one game, the problem was they were drawing too many and not killing games off - a bit Spursy and pretty much expected. With the general lack of transfer activity (lots of deadwood shipped out and only a bunch of kids brought in) most pundits believed Spurs were in for another season of transition and very few had them challenging for a top 4 spot let alone an unlikely title tilt.

The draws kept on coming and while Leicester City were winning plaudits and more than a few strange looks, Spurs were just beavering away, dropping points but not losing games and then they broke back into the top 6 and from that point on something clicked.

The false dawns came and went this time. A bad defeat at home to a woeful Newcastle could have been the catalyst to a drop in form, but the young team came out and put that defeat behind them. They had been better in every department that day apart from scoring and this was to be repeated twice more at home before January was over. Leicester performed an admirable smash and grab victory to make everyone realise the Foxes were actually proper challengers and Spurs, well, they would be content with 4th.

After Leicester came Leicester and then Leicester; one draw  and one win (both in the cup) finally saw us get the better of them and since that league defeat the team has moved up a gear; only another home defeat in the FA Cup has blemished a perfect record as Spurs seem to have forgotten how to lose and that's (whisper this) usually the marker for future champions.

In February, Spurs went 2nd. It was almost comical. Expectations for the season had been dashed in the most contrary way, we aren't just punching way above our weight, we actually look like the best team in the league (with apologies to Leicester, but we do). The altitude hasn't bothered the team and neither it seems has the once cursed Europa League and their insane fitness levels mean they look fresher (especially at the end) having played four games in two weeks than the team who had a fortnight in Spain.

Revenge against a very competent Fiorentina side was as one-sided and easy as the fixture was for our opponents the same time last year and then a resilient Swansea decided to park a bus and see if we could break them down. I've watched Spurs dominate games this season without the reward and it looked like the old frailties were going to resurface on Sunday, but at no point during that game did I think we would lose; you don't have 34 attempts on goal without one or two sneaking past an ex-Gooner goalkeeper with a point to prove.

Then Spurs were made favourites for the title after that win. Favourites. Think about that. Favourites to win the Premier League. Wow.

I think the turning point in this team's development happened in the aftermath of their League Cup final defeat to Chelsea. Mauricio Pochettino made the team go and stand and watch Chelsea pick up their trophy and celebrate. I thought at the time it was an inspired move and that was when I started to believe in the manager.

And then I look at the table and I get giddy again. Usually I'd laugh and expect the fall, but is this what fans of challengers feel? Is it right to think my team is playing so well it's the other team that needs to be worried? I'm not confident, but I'll bet you neither are Leicester fans, while Arsenal and Man City fans are thinking practically - regardless of what the bookies say, our teams have won this before, logic dictates one of us will surely win it again and the heroics of Spurs and the Foxes will be consigned to the fond memories of their fans. Except, if I was a fan of either of these chasing teams I'd be worried how much longer my club can not play like champions and still stand a chance?

This wonderfully crazy season (unless you're a Villa fan) is giving neutrals the competition they all want, although I'm sure Chelsea and Man United fans aren't as happy as they'd like to be, but every team goes through transitional stages and if they were to piss and moan I'm sure everyone else will just point to their success and tell them to share the love.

So with a terrifying 10 weeks in front of us, where the Europa League and other teams' own fixture congestion also means we have Monday night matches, Thursday night, and everything points to us facing that 'catch up' which the pundits reckon is the psychological disadvantage to clubs in these kind of positions. I can't help feeling that this will spur them on and that should scare the crap out of teams we're facing. Swansea looked utterly shell-shocked from the constant bombardment of their half by a skilful and youthful team so full of confidence at their own ability, the Welsh will not have a more difficult game again this season. You could forecast that it'll all come crashing down, but that doesn't look like happening to these kids. They play like champions and if they can continue to play like champions for the next 11 matches, there's a good chance they could achieve something I've always secretly known I would never see.

But... While that's a good point to stop, think about this: if Leicester City is not a flash in the pan and they improve; if Pep Guardiola revolutionises Man City; if Arsenal can show some ambition; if Man Utd get Jose Mourinho; if Chelsea bounce back to the level we expect from them; if Everton can reinvest some of this investment money; if West Ham under Bilic can thrive at the Olympic Stadium; if Jurgen Klopp really can turn Liverpool back into a top team; if Southampton continue their improvements; if Stoke continue to attract great players and learn some consistency; if every club in the Premier League has almost a billion quid to spend and if Spurs can keep Pochettino, Alli, Kane, Lloris, heck all the team and can invest in clever squad players - can you imagine just how exciting next season is going to be?

Can We Start Thinking About the Unthinkable?

Imagine you're new to football. You watch a team in blue from a Midlands city play and then you watch a team in red, from a Northern city. The blue team are better. You look at the league table and see the blue team are 10 points clear of the red team - this makes sense; the blue team are better. There is no evidence, at all, to suggest the red team, or for that matter any of the other teams of the same standard as them, are going to turn the current form book on its head over the last 15 games of the season.

Let's get a couple of things clear. The top four teams with the best goal difference finish as the top four every year, apart from the lone year Everton finished fourth. This means unless there's a colossal change in form and a shedload of goal difference changing, the top four teams in the premier league this season will be Arsenal, Leicester, Manchester City and Tottenham Hotspur; in what order these teams finish is still very much a mystery, although experts will tell you that Leicester have by far the most scary run-in (they don't). This scary run-in means that fans of teams from Manchester United (5th - 5 points adrift of 4th) to Chelsea (13th - 14 points adrift) will hope an impressive run of form might allow their teams to achieve unlikely salvation. On current results this isn't likely. We can't use history as a point of reference for Leicester because they have never been here before and no team bottom for most of the previous season has gone on to win it the following year. For Tottenham, the history is usually to blow it. Two fourth place finishes during the last ten 'challenging' years - one of which became obsolete - cements Spurs' reputation as bottlers.

This means, if the pundits are to be respected, it is a straight fight between Arsenal and Man City. To the neutral this is the most likely scenario with whoever holds on for longest finishing third. We all know that's how it will end up, probably with City beating Arsenal with a weekend to spare and Spurs being pipped by Manchester United for 4th because of a run of 1 win in 10. Except... the form book is saying it's a tough one to call because these four teams have been the four best teams in the Premier League so far and there's not that much left.

Let's examine those run-ins:
Leicester City: Currently 1st on 47 points

Leicester v Liverpool
Man City v Leicester
Arsenal v Leicester
Leicester v Norwich
Leicester v West Brom
Watford v Leicester
Leicester v Newcastle
Crystal Palace v Leicester
Leicester v Southampton
Sunderland v Leicester
Leicester v West Ham
Leicester v Swansea
Man Utd v Leicester
Leicester v Everton
Chelsea v Leicester

This is tough. Liverpool have beaten them at Anfield. City and Arsenal are their two closest rivals, so the next three matches are crucial. If they lose these matches and results go against them, they could be fourth and up to six points behind the leaders by the end of February. The thing is Leicester have ten winnable matches in this list and five tough ties, so I feel the best Leicester can achieve is 77pts.

Man City: currently 2nd on 44pts

Sunderland v Man City
Man City v Leicester
Man City v Tottenham
Newcastle v Man City
Liverpool v Man City
Man City v Aston Villa
Norwich v Man City
Man City v Man Utd
Bournemouth v Man City
Man City v West Brom
Chelsea v Man City
Man City v Stoke
Southampton v Man City

Man City v Arsenal
Swansea v Man City

This isn't easy either and while you have to fancy City to beat supposedly inferior teams they have had problems all season and have a tendency to implode at times when their defence goes AWOL. Crucially, I see a guaranteed 33pts here which would put them on 77pts - level with Leicester, but they already have a better goal difference. City, however are still involved in four competitions, Leicester just have the league to play for now.

Arsenal: currently 3rd also on 44pts

Arsenal v Southampton
Bournemouth v Arsenal
Arsenal v Leicester
Man Utd v Arsenal
Arsenal v Swansea
Tottenham v Arsenal
Arsenal v West Brom
Everton v Arsenal
Arsenal v Watford
West Ham v Arsenal
Arsenal v Crystal Palace
Sunderland v Arsenal
Arsenal v Norwich
Man City v Arsenal
Arsenal v Aston Villa

And this is why some people put Arsenal as favourites because they feel the run in is easier and the likelihood of them beating Barcelona in the Champions League means less fixture congestion at the business end; that said I think they will only get 32 points from their remaining fixtures (putting bias aside) which means they would finish the season with 76pts.

Spurs: currently 4th on 42pts

Norwich v Tottenham
Tottenham v Watford
Man City v Tottenham
Tottenham v Swansea
West Ham v Tottenham
Tottenham v Arsenal
Aston Villa v Tottenham
Tottenham v Bournemouth
Liverpool v Tottenham
Tottenham v Man Utd
Stoke v Tottenham
Tottenham v West Brom
Chelsea v Tottenham
Tottenham v Southampton
Newcastle v Tottenham

Arguably the most difficult run-in, but also a mix of matches which could have consequences for all teams. Spurs participation in the Europa League also is a handicap and the FA Cup is another competition that the young squad won't shy away from and this will be a fatigue issue - the manager's desire to do well in everything too doesn't help. This is why I doubt Spurs have a serious chance of finishing in the top 3. I believe from their remaining 15 fixtures they will claim 30 points to finish on 72 points and this should be enough to see them finish in 4th and get a Champions League shot next season.

I see Man Utd claiming between 27 and 33 points, which would not be enough to claim 4th. Chelsea would need to win every one of their remaining games to get 73 points. None of the other teams capable of obtaining enough points have shown the form or have enough combinations of games to make achieving 40+ points from their run ins. Only a massive collapse in form of the top four will now allow one of the other clubs in.

I believe it will finish:

Man City 77 (Goal difference 25)

Leicester 77 (GD 19)

Arsenal   76 (GD 22)

Spurs      72 (GD 24)

So, you can think about the unthinkable all you want, but there's very little to suggest we're going to have that major an upset, but we should see Leicester and Spurs in the Champions League next season and have to hope they can do us proud or this season will end up being for nowt.

As for relegation: I did similar forecasts and it'll be Villa, Sunderland and probably Norwich to go down, but depending on whether or not Everton can win the League Cup, they could get seriously dragged into a dog fight if, like previous League Cup winners, they retire to the beach in their heads for the rest of the season. 40 points could be a big ask.

Finding the Groove is one thing...

... But keeping it is another.

Spurs have shown a few times in recent years the flare of the dynamic Redknapp year(s), except on Saturday what they did was in many ways leaps and bounds ahead of what you would have expected Bale, Modric, VDV and co to have done because these were kids, products of youth academies, as are most footballers, but these are playing on one of the toughest stages in the world and beating the world beaters.

Last year, Kane and co., disposed of Chelsea in a similar cavalier fashion, but the defence last year had pockets that got picked, a lot. Against an arguably much better Man City side, Spurs came back from a seemingly desperate situation - they might have only been 1-0 down, but they were second best to City in almost every department, while, remarkably, not looking half bad - City were just up for it and if it hadn't been for Captain Marveaux Hugo Lloris, we could have been 3 or 4 down and finding out just how much character this young team has.

Instead, the rub of the green evened out and we got a goal from a position that should have been a free kick for the opposition and Eric Dier continued to silence the people who don't believe he has the ability to be a holding midfielder with a cracking, skidding, half-volley that pinged in off the post and you know what they say about a goal on the stroke of half-time?

Over the last couple of years, I hate to admit it, but this is a fixture I tend to make sure I'm out for. The number of times in recent years I've checked my phone and my heart has sunk at the amount of goals we've shipped. This year, the early kick off meant I had no real excuse, so I sat down to the second half expecting a rear-guard action and probably us losing valiantly to an injury time winner from Toure or bloody Raheem Sterling and the second half started exactly how I expected it, except... instead of sitting back, we took the game to City and started probing them with a lot of unexpected forward balls.

There was a point at 2-1 when instead of panicking I watched the dodgy feed and thought, "we're going to tear them apart; they look utterly lost." And that's what happened; the 4-1 score line actually could have been more had the linesman been consistent and allowed Son's offside goal and the hapless City keeper not actually done his job a couple of times. The other thing that made me happy was our substitutions seemed to benefit from the team playing so well, because N'Jie looks a dazzling proposition and suddenly the question marks over our goalscoring capabilities are forgotten.

The performance was stunning and now, the question a lot, if not most, of the supporters are thinking is 'can we keep it up?' This has always been the problem with Spurs, but let's just have a look at the improvement. They were the better side at Old Trafford and lost by an own goal; they ran out of steam against Stoke and Leicester were arguably the better side but they came away with a difficult point. The Sunderland and Palace victories might have been 1-0 but both of them were, shout it, victories, and as The Arse will contest, any victory is 3 points.

So far the team looked like it was in need of clicking; there were good individual performances but also mistakes and you have to expect that from any team at the start of the season and more savvy teams will benefit not just from that but also from lapses of concentration that a younger side might be more prone to do, especially when they're coasting to victory. When it has clicked the team have looked good, they just haven't finished moves and that led to the single striker furore when the transfer window closed. I think we saw as near as damn it Pochettino's starting 11 on Saturday and it's going to be tough for Mason and Bentaleb to break back into that when they're fit, because Deli Alli plays with an assurance that belies his age (he's 19) and Eric Dier looks the part more and more every game and all that must thrill Roy Hodgson.

In fact, watching Spurs must really please any advocate of playing youth and watching them succeed; because let's not dismiss this win, it was a crushing defeat for a would-be champion side and it was done with a style that would have made the casual observer think that it was Spurs who would be there in May and not City. There have been false dawns aplenty in my life as a Spurs fan, but there is something extremely likeable about this young side and something that teams are going to start fearing. A top 4 spot is a long way away, but if teams such as Liverpool and especially Chelsea don't start stringing together results and we do, then two of our rivals for that spot will be playing catch up and against this hungry and ambitious bunch of kids that's not going to be easy.

It's the 'inferior' opposition they need to worry about; because if teams don't give players like Lamela the room to prove his worth the frustrations mount again. Pochettino needs to address our weakness in being unable to consistently beat teams we should be beating, specifically at home. It would be nice to turn White Hart Lane into a fortress just once before we move to the new stadium and that will only happen if they don't get complacent against sides they think they should be beating. That's the final - missing - piece in the jigsaw and none of the previous managers have been able to find it.

Windows

The transfer window has slammed shut again and this time around it has been more the deals that didn't happen that dominate the news headlines. There are five teams that have been highlighted for their failures in the window - Man Utd, Arsenal, Chelsea, Spurs and Real Madrid. The first and the last are in the news because of the David De Gea debacle, the other three have been criticised for their lack of transfer activity. Chelsea bought a bunch of people, loaned a bunch out and not one pundit thinks they've had a good window. Arsenal bought one player - just one - a world class goalkeeper (possibly). Spurs played hardball and got shafted - karma's wheel and all that...

Let's start with Man Utd. I'm going to buck the trend here and suggest this was possibly the best bit of transfer business done all window. Look at De Gea - he's out of contract next summer and will leave (unless he signs a new contract which is unlikely), but what was on offer was a lot of money and a keeper who isn't world class. What was also on offer was Man Utd's best player of the last two years going to one of United's main Champions League rivals - they might not win this competition but they weren't about to help the favourites for it increase their own chances. De Gea wants to be Spain's keeper in next year's Euros, to ensure that he needs to be playing and playing well, so United get their star keeper back for another season and it gives them a year to identify (and tap up) the replacement. There are lots of disgruntled people and journalists looking at the blame game and how this has been a joke; I think LVG and the United board have been shrewd - it's not like a club like Man Utd can't afford to lose a transfer fee if it means the money will come from another source.

Chelsea - apparently stole Pedro from under Man U's noses and he is likely to be a good acquisition. The rest just seemed to confirm that Chelsea want more players than they'll ever need and will loan them strategically so they barely have any impact against the main team. Chelsea are complacent and have a sense of self-belief that is being shaken by events - they will come good and shouldn't be written off. The season is only four games old.

Arsenal are coming in for more criticism than Spurs, yet on paper you wouldn't write this team off at the moment. Some major clubs stutter at the start of the season because the opposition are playing for impetus - the quality Arsenal have will shine through faster than you think and by Christmas, when the next window is about to open, Arsenal will have made light of their inactivity.

Spurs and the reasons for why they are where they are at the moment is clear - despite what has been said, Spurs are treading water and the stadium and development of Northumberland Road has now become the most important thing on Daniel Levy's mind. Had the management been clear that the next few years would be tough and depend on academy graduates there would have been a backlash but we would have known and it would have been a kick in the teeth but it would have at least given us some hope that someone in the club sees quality in the ranks and enough to ensure that a top half is ensured. But they didn't and we are short in key positions because the club wanted to get rid of all of its deadwood.

To face the next few months with what is essentially a threadbare squad is quite frightening. Spurs have had an indifferent start to the season, drawing three and losing to an own goal at Old Trafford. The next three league games could be tough - Sunderland away could be a banana skin waiting to happen because Sunderland are already fighting for their lives. Crystal Palace at home would have been considered a banker once upon a time, but Pardew has worked wonders at the club and now they're not even thought of as relegation fodder; they have also had a good start to the season and they have some momentum. Then it's Man City in Manchester and the Spurs side made up of mainly hot prospects will be pushed, pulled and possibly torn apart, especially if early goals are conceded. During this period we also start the Europa League and play Arsenal in the League Cup - it is an incredibly crucial period for this young side and if it doesn't go right for them then heads will drop. We will see whether Pochettino has what it takes to turn things around - history suggests he might struggle.

The newest additions - Clinton N'Jie and the Korean (whose name will eventually roll off my tongue and into the keyboard) are really nothing special - I say this because neither has played in the Premiership and at Spurs we know the term 'bedding in' better than most - we are the bedding club. That leaves Spurs with one recognised striker and a possible 60 odd games this season and the Euro Championship following in the summer, if Kane remains in Roy's plans.

The fact that Spurs are going into the next few months with Erik Lamela still at the club fills people with a lot of dread. His contributions to the team have been less significant than some of the club's most famous flops and the fact that Pochettino wants to keep him says more about Levy's lack of backing him than anything else. Arsenal fans are almost apoplectic about their club's inactivity, but they have a bloody decent starting XI and a fair few fringe players who would walk into most teams; Spurs have potential and little else.

As a fan I've watched clubs that historically are not serious competition to Spurs and their aspirations buy players with Champions League quality and early enough to hit the ground running. I've watched this largely inexperienced Spurs throw leads away and threaten but not score against quality teams that know how to play against predictable formations and systems.

But it is early days and we were never going to threaten for the title so the setbacks and dropped points need some perspective. Two of the 'nailed on' top four teams are just above us and realistically clubs like Palace, Leicester and Swansea should start to even out and slip down the table - the natural order is expected to assert itself... but... could this season throw up some shocks for a change? Will complacency have devastating effects on some of the top clubs? The table will make interesting reading at Christmas.

The Bale Legacy (A Joke That Keeps on Giving)

2012 was a horrible year in footballing terms (although it was a pretty miserable year weather-wise too). For Spurs fans it started impossibly and finished dreadfully. The 2011/12 season began with two straight defeats, Harry Rednapp's revolution had stuttered to a halt. There were problems with Luka Modric's attitude and the midfield maestro was engineering a move to Real Madrid.

By January, Spurs were 3rd and had put some distance between them and the teams challenging for a Champions League place. February saw the arrival of a much better Newcastle team than we currently see playing and any doubts Spurs fans had about the rather underwhelming signing of Louis Saha (on a free from Everton) to reinforce our chances of finishing in the top 3 were blown away as he and Emanuel Adebayor ably assisted by Gareth Bale tore Newcastle several new arseholes - five to be precise.

Match of the Day that night were seriously talking about the team challenging for the title - even perennial Spurs hater Paul Merson accepted that Rednapp's team, already playing beyond their supposed ability could upset the apple cart. Then several things happened - John Terry racially abused Anton Ferdinand and while you could argue that the thuggish EDL-like Chelsea captain's outburst has nothing to do at all with their North London neighbours it was the fallout that did us.

Fabio 'Beaker' Capello quit as England manager. The press installed Harry Rednapp as odds-on favourite to succeed him. There had already been problems between the genial media luvvy and his hard-nosed chairman and when 'Arry was acquitted for tax evasion, it opened the door for a departure from Spurs. Except it didn't pan out the way it should have. Daniel Levy demands something for nothing most times and despite Rednapp being at the end of a contract he had been eager to renegotiate, Levy started talking about compensation. What should have happened was Levy should have let him go for nothing with the proviso that he stayed to oversee Spurs big challenge.

That might not have changed the script. Spurs had a scant squad to rely on and the moment Capello quit and Rednapp didn't rule himself out the team dipped. They ended up turning a 9 point lead into a scramble for 4th place only to see their dream smashed by Chelsea (who finished 6th) winning the Champions League and preventing Spurs from taking the place in a competition it had earned.

Rednapp went. Spurs looked to the man responsible for first half of Chelsea's downfall season - Andre Villas Boas - as the man to rebuild Spurs into a serious challenger. The first thing AVB did was keep Gareth Bale, the second thing was to hand the Welshman a free rein - he had no specific position, he was a roaming attacking midfield-striker and this was the best and worst thing AVB did during his awful tenure at the club.

Bale had a season to remember and single-handedly helped Spurs to a 5th place finish with a record amount of points. The thing was most fans were puzzled - without Bale (through injuries mainly) Spurs were were pretty woeful and that 5th place finish was largely down to the teams under them really under-performing.

Then the inevitable happened. As Real Madrid's unofficial feeder club (we had a 'special' arrangement with them that never seemed to be reciprocated) Levy got a world record fee for the man he knew he was going to sell before the previous season ended. He sent AVB's DoF out to find not just a replacement for Bale but a new team to suited the coach's methods. In came: Erik Lamela, Nacer Chadli, Christian Eriksen and a bunch of others who all seemed to fit with the ethos that was being adapted. However, the net spend was actually less than had been received and with the TV money, ENIC took a healthy profit to their bank account.

AVB's second season started okay, nothing spectacular but some heavy defeats to Man City and Liverpool prematurely ended his reign. There were lots of reasons given but hostility from fans and the press put too much pressure on the young man. In came Tim Sherwood from the backroom staff - he was instantly disliked, despite helping to improve the team - goals were being scored and the team played with some of the verve fans had been treated to in 2011/12. But he was always a stop gap and arguably wouldn't have kept his job if he'd won something or finished 4th.

With the exception of Eriksen, the Bale money was increasingly looking like a really bad investment. They needed a season to bed in. They needed a coach to play to their strengths. There were more excuses than there were flops.

The inevitable manager merry-go-round resulted in us reverting to the DoF model and we signed Mauricio Pochettino from Southampton - a forward thinking, less dislikeable version of AVB. He was Argentinian - which surprisingly rings good in Spurs' fans minds (Ossie, Ricky, even Tarricco who was rubbish) and he was highly regarded, despite having zero success anywhere and a really bad second season with Espanyol.

MoPo got Eriksen playing so well he became our new Modric. Chadli scored goals and ... um... er... Erik Lamela scored that fantastic rabona in the Europa League and not much else. The Bale replacements didn't come on - Soldado, as good as he was, was incapable of hitting a cow's arse with a banjo while wearing a Spurs shirt and as time dragged on we witnessed Spurs destroy the career of yet another good footballer.

MoPo's first season was a success. He took the team to 5th, but largely because neither Liverpool nor Southampton (MoPo's old club, now playing even better despite half the team and coaching staff having been sold and replaced - thus proving you can bring a bunch of players in and integrate them quickly) could be arsed. Despite only being 6 points behind 4th the gulf had widened, especially now that Man Utd had returned from their year off and Liverpool sold Luis Suarez, their own version of Gareth Bale.

MoPo brought kids in and they looked like good prospects. Nabil Bentaleb, Ryan Mason and especially Harry Kane were first choices ahead of all those expensive Bale replacements. However, it didn't disguise the fact that for all the better football they were playing they were still fragile, mentally incapable of taking their game up to a level that makes a top 4 team. The team won or drew games from losing positions so often that it became clear that fitness and determination were much improved, but they also capitulated a number of times and lost or drew games they really shouldn't have. The problems weren't just the top 4 teams, but relegation threatened and mid-table teams; it was like the team went into these games expecting to win and we, as viewers, soon discovered that any team deciding to 'have a go' could disrupt MoPo's system and unsettle the team enough to make them ... not pushovers, but an easy lay (perhaps).

Season over, Spurs still had the same manager and now MoPo had his own scouting guru. Baldini's tenure is drawing to a close and five of the seven Bale replacements have been sold and the club didn't lose its shirt on them either. Spurs also got rid of some more deadwood and now the squad had a lean and youthful feel to it. By June they had already signed another defender - Kevin Wimmer from Austria - a prospect surely as he had a lot of people in front of him to play centre back. Then Toby Alderwiereld, the Belgian utility defender, joined and we also signed Keiron Trippier from Burnley, a reasonably nippy right back to join the growing ranks of right backs at the club. I remember AVB/Baldini seemingly signing a host of defensive midfielders, MoPo has a thing for right backs it seems. Andre DeYedlin seems like he was bought to appease the US market, whether he'll ever play for the team again is a doubt, especially as Kyle Walker appears to have been given a kick up the arse.

On paper the club appears to have a lot of midfield players, but of the 13 listed, one hasn't got a squad number (Aaron Lennon) and five are new academy graduates who have spent a lot of time on loan in lower leagues. Half of those that remain do not appear to be in MoPo's starting XI plans - this includes the mind-boggling Erik Lamela, a man who is one of MoPo's most consistent players - he is consistently rubbish.

The season started and there was a dearth of quality in the ranks and an obvious huge hole up front. With Soldado released from his personal hell and Adebayor without a squad number, the only striker on the books was Harry Kane, who this time last year was almost sent on loan, again.

This MoPo team instigated its high pressing game and at times looked quite comfortable. Man Utd at Old Trafford for the opener was possibly a blessing - Van Gaal's team misfired a lot in his first year and early doors they were a team to get something from - as Swansea found out last year. The opening 20 minutes showed a lot of promise, despite alarm bells ringing all around as Spurs fans scrutinised our squad and saw it wanting. Then they scored against the run of play and it was game over. We never really looked like scoring, even in the last few minutes when they seemed to wake up and realise they still could salvage something.

There were bad reactions from some fans; The Guardian and Independent web sites were littered with doom-sayers and people questioning everything. Calm was called for; it was far too early to be condemning the side. And it was Man Utd, after all.

Stoke arrived with its growing list of ex-Barcelona players and footballers that no one in the Spurs crowd would have turned their nose up at. By half-time Spurs were 2-0 up. They weren't cruising by any stretch of the imagination, but if you get a second goal on the stroke of half-time after soaking up Stoke pressure for ten minutes, you expect to come out in the second half facing a team that half thinks it's already beaten. So, it was no surprise it ended 2-2 and to a chorus of boos from the fickle home crowd.

There have been some glaring 'problems' staring at us. Eric Dier, a hot defending prospect, has been played at right back - he didn't like it - and now as the holding midfielder in what appears to be a sort of rotating 4-1-1-3-1 that transforms into a 3-5-1-1 on the offence. Dier drops back to cover for the roving full backs. Dier isn't a ball player compared to any of the people Spurs sold who could play in that position. In fact they sold their best defensive midfielder when AVB arrived and replaced him with rubbish. Tom Huddlestone might not be a contender now, but he had a season at Hull that got people talking about him playing for England again - Steve Bruce brought the brilliant player we saw when we bought him from Derby.

The fact that there is no recognised striker after Kane seems to be reason people are blaming on the points thrown away against Stoke, but I think (having watched the game) that once Kane and then Mason went, the two most passionate players in our team, on the day, were taken off and that took the fight out of the team and put it on the bench. If the game had been five minutes longer we would have snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, again.

The same frailties are there - the ones we complain about every bloody year, the capitulations, the failure to see a game out, the introduction of subs who are to the detriment of the team at that moment rather than slotting in seamlessly. The football is a bit more attractive, but the more cavalier the team get, the greater the chance of the opposition scoring. The team's heads drop if things don't go according to plan and that has been a fault for as long as I've watched this team. The problem is having a plan is great, but you need other, back-up, plans if the one you choose is being turned over. MoPo hasn't got a Plan B that doesn't plunge the team into calamity.

Clinton N'Jie (pronounced Jai - No N) has been brought from Lyon. He's 22 and another hot prospect. He can play on the wings, is fast and can double up as a striker - but it isn't his natural position as his 9 goals for Lyon last season proved - 7 of them were scored when he was played wide right or left. He is very quick, but he fits in with the inverted winger system that MoPo still hasn't realised is utterly predictable and easy to defend. He has youth on his side - but so does Erik Lamela - and yet I wouldn't be at all surprised if he doesn't start for a few weeks, if at all; after all, we've only played one of our new signings so far.

Talk is of buying Saido Berahino from WBA. He is Kane's strike partner for the England U21 team and he scores goals, but in reality this is a guy who wants £100k a week and Kane is on £65k and he's vice captain, I thought this was the press who are driving this story, but apparently we've made a bid for him.

Rumours did have us buying Juventus's Fernando Llorente, except he's 30, no longer first choice at the Old Lady; Spanish and Opta ratings put him way behind Soldado. Charlie Austin appears to be too expensive (and I think he's a step back; not as good as people think and is injury prone) and then there's a desert of nothing. We can't go to some clubs because they want something more in return - if Man Utd sold Hernandez to us, who I believe would do a job, they'd want some kind of deal in place for Hugo Lloris or even Harry Kane. Others wouldn't come to us because the reality of Champions League football grows dimmer with each passing day and will disappear if money isn't spent between now and the end of the window. but that begs the question WHY are we doing business so late again? Why wasn't the manager given the players he needed for pre-season; why does Levy always leave us to play catch up?

Next up is Leicester City, a team who were written off pre-season because of their lack of ambition in hiring Claudio Ranieri and the loss of Estaban Cambiasso - the ageing midfield general Spurs could probably do with. Yet Leicester sit joint top - two wins from two and brimming with confidence. They are at home and will be looking to continue the rich vein of form that saw them easily escape relegation and now look like a genuine top half of the table team (plus they have money - lots of money). What fans would have believed was at least a narrow win has now become a 'let's hope we get a point' and what makes it worse is if Spurs do lose it plunges the team into a confidence crisis, because so many of them are so young.

It was an unbelievably poor start to the season that saw the end of Juande Ramos - he had taken Martin Jol's sturdy and dependable team and turned it into spineless walkovers. This is only MoPo's second second-season club and all the promise he showed in Spain was undone by an unscrupulous chairman; Espanyol flirted with the drop and he was sacked. Had he not had friends on the South Coast, the Southampton job might never have happened. The similarities - on paper - with Espanyol cannot be ignored even if there isn't the tension or lack of patience for him at the moment, but if Leicester turn us over and the in-form Everton continue their impressive run of form against us then we could go into the International break with just one point from a possible 12 and could be 11 points behind the leading pack, who we have aspirations to be among.

MoPo complains about consistency but with that he just joins a club of previous managers who have failed to understand why Spurs are just so ... Spursy. I also think he plays with fire a lot - showing Levy on the pitch that he needs more: playing the kids over the expensive signings; playing Kane and substituting him when there was absolutely no replacement; refusing to work with Lennon or Adebayor (two of the older regime's lads) and making thinly-veiled remarks about the need to recruit while complaining about the transfer window closing almost a month into the season. I heard an alternative take on this, but whether it's clever PR or a genuine bit of covert wheeling and dealing it smacks of experimentation at a time when experiments are for teams that face oblivion.

MoPo's pre-season press conference emphasised the need to finish top 4 and the intention of using the Europa League as a bedding in ground for his younger players. Half of that assertion is already looking forlorn and desperate.

What can happen?

The realist in me knows the decline started in 2012 - I had never seen a Spurs side play like world beaters before and I doubt I will again in my life. That's a sad forecast given that I'm only 53, but there are circumstances that many fans refuse to accept. The new stadium is costing a fortune; FFP means that even if ENIC could throw money at the club we'd struggle to justify it; Levy has been burnt so often in the past, I don't think he trusts the judgement of anyone but himself and naturally (and not a criticism) he needs to think about balancing the books especially when £100 million worth of 'talent' doesn't deliver and the new boss wants shot of them.

I think MoPo is safe for the time being despite the fact that I don't believe Spurs now believe that a top four spot is remotely achievable. They haven't got the quality (nor the depth) to seriously challenge and a top 6 spot would suffice because even if the Europa League is nothing but a burden for the club it does pay its way even if it is totally detrimental to the team's domestic season.

Only a catastrophic run of form would start Levy panicking - such as Juande Ramos had - or a couple of 4 or 5 goal thrashings when the fans who haven't already made up their minds come off the fence and call for the manager's head - which, of course, would just lead to the same thing happening again (and probably again). Whether MoPo is the right man for the job isn't really an issue at the moment (unless they fall apart), what is is keeping the bills down while ensuring that a top half finish is achieved between now and moving into the new stadium and then waiting around for enough money to come in to up the wages bill accordingly.

The Europa League hasn't yet started for Spurs and most fans who still look at us being able to break into the top 4 will be hoping that all those 'extra' players in the first team squad play to leave the first team fresh for the following Sunday's exertions. It depends on the kind of group we're drawn into - as top seeds we should get at least two 'easy' clubs, sides capable of being beaten by a team of academy graduates and squad players. The problems start if MoPo does play the squad players and they fail to make any impression, requiring him to bring in the first team squad to try and qualify for the knockout stages. And what of the striker? Do we really expect Harry Kane to play 60 odd matches this season - with the Euros at the end of it? With no other 'proper' striker on the books, scoring goals against inferior Albanian opposition might become tough.

There's this joke that surfaces whenever Spurs lose to an 'inferior' side. You see it appear on noticeboards and blogs - Spurs in Crisis - and I am beginning to believe that is exactly where the club is at the moment. I think there are question marks beginning to appear over the head coach; I think Levy's patience is getting shorter despite the five year contract and his reluctance to do much in the transfer market isn't because he's scared of spending money, it's because there are no obvious cheap alternatives and spending in excess of £20million is asking for another Roberto Soldado. Worst of all, I think there are all kinds of existential problems within the squad. There is another joke that does the rounds - 'It's only Spurs, lads' suggesting they have no spine, no steel and will capitulate if you hit them hard enough and that assertion isn't there unless there's some truth in it and if there is truth in it then it will get to the players.

I can imagine the captain of a side 2-0 down at half-time to Spurs just casually mentioning to certain Spurs players in the tunnel about their propensity for throwing away leads when they should kill games off and it sows the seed.

I also think the team has bags of confidence but can't hold it when faced by a team that fight for every ball. For a while we looked like we had adapted the ethos of the relegation battlers when they play us - harry them until they break, but faced with resilient opposition confidence turns to self-doubt and 30% of their game is lost. AVB questioned the team's mentality and was castigated for it. MoPo did the same after a couple of pathetic performances last season and this time people nodded sagely. This has made the team targets, even more so than ever before, because every Premier league manager will be saying to their team ten minutes before kick off, "It's just Spurs." He doesn't need to say anything else. Losing 2-0 at half time his message is the same.

Spurs haven't gone a season in the Premier League where they haven't lost at least one game to a team that gets relegated. Martin Jol's famous Lasagne-gate team didn't throw 4th away because of a last day defeat at Upton Park, they lost it by dropping 11 points to teams that were relegated. I have a long enough memory to remember the season where Nottm Forest did the double over Spurs in a season when they finished bottom with just a handful of wins. Capitulating to 'rubbish' teams isn't exclusive to Spurs, but no other team make such a consistent habit of it.

MoPo bemoans a lack of consistency, but he's not looking at it from the right perspective. Spurs are probably the most consistent team outside of the top 4 - they consistently confound. They are consistent at being inconsistent and when they do get some consistency Levy comes along and changes everything again. You cannot deny what this man has done for the club, you also can't deny that there are aspects of his style that infuriate and cause nothing but head scratching and anger. The alternative is Arab or Oligarch and the jury is out whether Spurs' fans really want that.

Simply put, fans who expect top four football are going to have a long season, punctuated by the inevitable defeat of Chelsea or Arsenal to rekindle those beliefs until the following week when Bournemouth or Sunderland turn us over. It's an up and down trip and will remain that way for at least three more years. MoPo is now a caretaker manager, he's running a team that won't be ambitious in the transfer market and will not seriously challenge in the league and it will probably stay that way until we move into the new stadium and start generating more money. This is the reality. Top four will always be just out of our reach, post mortems will point to dropped points, probably at home, to teams who didn't roll over and the same questions, fears and anger will rise again.

Welcome to mediocrity and mid-table safety again. If you can you need to move on or wait for the future to eventually arrive, then you have to give it another three years before you start seeing big changes and if ENIC are still in charge there could be 15 clubs ahead of us, with more spending power, that we need to overhaul. It could be ten years before Spurs fans can realistically think about being top 4 challengers again, but if things don't change in the areas that are obviously problems, it could be another 54 years before they win anything meaningful.


Further reading:
http://www.spurs-web.com/tottenham-hotspur-fan-articles/mp-xmas/?
http://thepremierleagueowl.com/tottenham-time-to-grit-those-teeth-and-smile/
http://www.dearmrlevy.com/dml/2015/8/18/musical-chairs?