Friday 13 April 2018

The Arse End

With the season drawing to a far more exciting close than most would have expected three months ago, there are some burning issues still to be resolved...

Can Liverpool win the Champions League, again?
Which of the four remaining teams will lift the FA Cup? Will it be boring boring Man U or Chelski or can Spurs win their first FA Cup since the 1990s or Southampton their first since the 1970s - oh, Bobby Stokes.
Will the Premier League Champions elect continue to implode? And probably more pertinent, will any of the current other three teams in the Top four blow it, when all have reasonably easy run-ins?
Who will be joining WBA in the Championship next season?
And will Arsene Wenger still be in charge of Arsenal next season, even if they win the Europa League and therefore qualify for the Champions League?

The fact there are still things to talk about, some of which don't include Man Citeh, is further proof you should never expect anything in football.

Let's examine the questions in detail:
1. Can Liverpool win the Champions League again? Well, it's not beyond their capabilities; but just because they seem to have got the size of Man Citeh doesn't necessarily mean success. Liverpool have a theoretically easy run-in. They face Chelsea, who by then might have even less to play for or a cup final, either way it's not going to be as tough as facing them three months ago. Other than that they're more than capable of winning all their remaining matches, which if Spurs and Man U do the same would mean they finish fourth.
Here's where all kinds of fun comes into play: If they finish fourth, but win the Champions League, none of the top four would be required to qualify for next seasons Champions League and, neither would Arsenal if they won the Europa League - so Liverpool winning the European trophy would benefit everyone but only if they finish 4th.*

2. Who will win the FA Cup? Man U versus Spurs at Wembley one day and Southampton versus Chelsea the next. Two weeks ago I was rubbing my hands at that draw. We're better than Man U and on hindsight I would have preferred them in the final. However, while it seems a straight shoot out between the two top four sides to play Chelsea in the final, the south Londoners' are anything but unbeatable at the moment and while they have a great record at Wembley, the real fly in the ointment would be if Southampton won. Why? Because they'll win the cup. Spurs can beat anyone who play their way, which is why we've beaten Man U and Chelsea in recent months - home and away - Southampton represent the chaos which has a tendency to stymie Spurs, especially at 'home'. The winner of this competition should come from the first game but it will raise some awful questions for Spurs fans if they lose, again, in the semi-final.

3. Will Man Citeh continue to implode and is the current top four a done deal? If Citeh lose on Saturday night, to Spurs at Wembley, then I would put a large amount of money on the Londoners finishing in the top three (that's second or third), but will Citeh lose four games on the bounce? When was the last time champions elect were throwing away matches like marbles down a drain? *This is where it is key - if Spurs can beat Citeh then it'll be a straight race between Spurs and Liverpool for 3rd. Man U, who have probably the easiest run in now, will have to lose and draw in their remaining six matches for Spurs to catch them. The thing is Spurs are the form team in the league so you can't rule them catching Man U if the latter falters. The problem is you can feel a backlash coming from Guardiola's men and we haven't had a serious beating since they tore us apart in Manchester. As usual, while Champions League is all but guaranteed, but nothing is simple for the Spurs.

4. Who's going down? Who cares unless you support a team with less than 36 points at the moment? I wouldn't be surprised if either Stoke or Southampton manage to turn their form around in the remaining matches. It's still a lottery.

5. Will Wenger stay at the Arse? Honestly? I don't really care, but frankly he's taken Arsenal nowhere in years apart from all those cups they've won since Spurs last lifted one... From a comedy perspective it would be fantastic for them to win the Europa League to see the absolute dichotomy it will place the 50% or so of their fans who want the Frenchman gone. The ridiculous thing is, this year's Europa League would have Burnley salivating at their chances of lifting it; it's been low on quality and Everton provided everyone with comedy football. Only really Athletico Madrid stand in the Arse's way of regaining Champions League football for being mediocre at best.
What it would mean for spend-thrift Wenger, who only seems to buy strikers of any real quality? At the moment, Arsenal are where Spurs were five years ago, the problem here is that Spurs were going forward, while Arsenal have, apart from their ability to win cups, gone backwards and won't be challenging for the title again soon... Or will they? The situation with Arsenal isn't helped by the fact they're in a rich - no pressure - vein of form. There is no denying they are far too good to be lower than 6th, but not really good enough to be higher and arguably, the only way for them is back up. Whether he stays or goes, they will have to spend big in the summer to maintain it and even that isn't a given. Them winning the Europa League would be a slap in the face for all Spurs fans in more ways than one.

A bonus 6. England at the World Cup - what are the chances? Frankly, there's more chance of us boycotting it than there is of us winning it. It will be mainly won by Germany, with other teams finishing just behind them or by a distance. England have about as much chance as Denmark; it won't be embarrassing as it was last time, but TV won't feature that many live England games; five at best would be my guess. Out on penalties to Brighton.

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